Last week we posted a translation of an interview with a Christian lawyer regarding China’s new law on domestic violence. This week we hear the story of one domestic abuse victim and her journey to healing.
A Testimony of a Chinese Christian Domestic Violence Victim
For victims of domestic violence, talking about it is never easy. However, in telling her story, Chinese Christian Wang Fang showed immense strength and courage.
According to her story, Wang Feng’s husband was not abusive towards her when they were starting out; her husband even resigned from his job as a chef when their daughter was born. However, everything changed when her husband got into a motorcycle accident due to drunk driving and had surgery to remove broken pieces of his skull on June 1, 2007. While the operation was successful, her husband's mind was muddled significantly and he started beating her and scolding their children.
Since he was unaware of his current mental state, Wang Feng would find herself smashed against stones and there was even a time she was almost blinded after being poked in the eyes with chopsticks. As the abuse continued, she questioned why it was happening to her since she didn't do anything to warrant such treatment. She believed she wouldn't be able to bear this abuse at all.
However, her outlook changed in November 2007 when she visited a Three-Self church when her husband was capable enough to take care of himself. At that time she felt lonely and sad, and she had no one to talk to about her dilemma. She wanted to speak to the pastor for guidance; however, he always had a crowd around him after each sermon and this caused her to shy away from the opportunity.
After a few days, a sister named Wang Shufen approached Wang Feng and asked her to join a small church established by Koreans in March or April 2008. Wang Feng was looking for a way out of her predicament and attended the sessions in the small church every Sundays. She believed that listening to the word of God would help her believe that everything would be ok as long as she listened and understood each word. Eventually, she was comforted by the pastor's wife, who helped her think through options of getting out of her predicament at home.
The pastor's wife told her not to divorce her husband because it would be against God's word as noted in the book of Genesis. Her friends, however, all suggested divorce.
Wang Feng found herself completely confused with regard to why marriage cannot be broken and even felt that it would be better if she did not continue praying to the Lord. Eventually, she decided to stay for her children. Her stay lasted for two years and Wang Feng moved to another church with Sister Wang Shufen.
Disaster struck Wang Feng’s family again as her husband now suffered from epilepsy and experienced occasional paralysis. As the days went on, everything became harder for Wang Feng and her family and she found herself crying without receiving comfort. She also cried in church and thought no one would comfort her until the new church leader Brother He, approached her and gave her comfort.
Brother He taught her the Bible and taught her the nature of her sins and told her to submit to her husband. At first, she didn't want to admit her sins, but she slowly realized that she was starting to realize the essence of God's word and became very peaceful as she learned more from Brother He. She started praying for the recovery of her husband as well.
Her faith wavered when her husband's situation didn't improve. When she sought the advice of the ministry, a sister suggested, "why not change the way you pray? Stop only asking for healing; otherwise you will become numb. You can also for God to grant you a strong heart that can wait for the healing to happen patiently."
This advice touched her and inspired her to change her ways. She didn't even notice that God had healed her husband and had stopped calling her names for many days. In 2012, her husband was declared healed from epilepsy. She thanked God for treating her husband's sickness because epilepsy is not easily cured. Since then, she has been seeking God more reverently through her prayers.
She advised her fellow victims of domestic violence to not infuriate their spouses because sisters often use words to attack brothers and brothers will retaliate with violence. Verbal abuse can actually hurt more deeply than physical abuse.
If one wishes to build a happy family filled with Christ's love, learn how to depend on God and submit to your husband. Consider and think about the problem first with repentance, then leave the rest to God.
Original article: 我是如何走出家暴噩梦并重获新生的？(Gospel Times)
English translation: A Testimony of a Chinese Christian Domestic Violence Victim (China Christian Daily)
Adapted and reposted with permission.
Are you enjoying a cup of good coffee or fragrant tea while reading the latest ChinaSource post? Consider donating the cost of that “cuppa” to support our content so we can continue to serve you with the latest on Christianity in China.