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Barriers to Apologizing, Part 2

[…] going to apologize, first I must accept that I am lower than you. Face, however, says that I cannot be lower than others, thus there’s a tension. 1 I grew up with an entirely different framework regarding apologizing. In my cultural environment, owning up to sin or a mistake by apologizing, while uncomfortable and […]

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Working Our “Initiate Conversation” Muscle

[…] Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Your Relationships, to learn ways to initiate conversation that don’t exacerbate a situation. Available on Amazon starting January 14, 2024. Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own […]

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Are You in Conflict?

[…] starting in an unseen place first: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4: 1). I began to wonder, where does the “explosion and shame” view of conflict come from? I found roots to an answer when researching what Confucius had […]

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Peacemaking Across Cultures

"Changing Normal" in Chinese!

Changing Normal has become 《和好如初:打破人际关系中的僵局》, currently available as an e-book, with paperback editions expected in late summer 2025.

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Transformative Relationships

Self-Control, Prayer, and Reflection

[…] instead listened, listened, and listened some more. Then, I asked her, “If this situation were to happen again, how would you like me to respond to you?” 1 As a result of recognizing her emotions and exercising self-control by taking a deep breath, calming down, and reflecting on a peacemaking-focused question, Zhang Jing was […]

Supporting Article

Maryknoll Convent School

Her Story, 1925 to the Present

Sister Rose Maryknoll Duchesne Debrecht (principal, 1965-1972) said, “ Convent School has created a priceless history. Each and every person, who has been a participant in the school’s life, is to be given a grateful pat on the back for contributions so steadfastly made...”

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Love In Action

Living out 1 John 3:18, “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (NIV) can bear peacemaking fruit in our relationships. Thankfully, God loves us with actions and in truth whether we are at odds with him or not. Investing in a relationship with someone we are at […]

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Peacemaking in China

Beginnings

People shared their conflict stories, how they viewed face issues (saving, giving, and losing face), the hindering impact of face on reconciliation, and how God enabled them to set aside face to apologize and forgive…They have demonstrated that conflict resolution and relational restoration in face-saving cultures is possible!

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Gospel Power at Work in the Heart

[…] struggles every time I went to see her. Having to regularly face her rejection was extremely painful. Before going to visit her, I would sing songs from 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 and Proverbs 15:1 about the true meaning of love and how “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” […]