This is the sixth in our series of testimonies from alumni of Tsinghua University and Peking University. These testimonies are translations of selected chapters from books published by ReFrame Ministries, The Reason for You II: Tsinghua Testimonies and three volumes of Peking University Testimonies. In each case we post an excerpt from a testimony and include a link to the full testimony in downloadable form. Watch for more in the coming months.
For more information about these testimonies, see “Capturing Chinese Stories.”
A Third-Generation Believer’s Struggle: “God, Do You Really Exist?”
Qiuyu Wu (BS in Biology, 2007)
I was born into a Christian family, but that did not mean that I naturally believed in God.
In middle school, I started to have a strong self-awareness, so I slowly began to resist the faith of my parents. A busy school life also made me believe that going to church was a waste of my time.
If someone in church wanted to discuss questions of faith with me, I would put on a look of disdain, or sometimes even pridefully use the Bible knowledge I had gained since childhood to ask tricky questions, to embarrass that person.
I had good grades in school and frequently won all kinds of awards. All those achievements in my life made me very proud, and when it came to faith, my pride led me to believe that God didn’t exist.
Found by God When Seeking the Meaning of Life
Thus, I started my high school life. Everything seemed to go smoothly, until God began to stir up my thoughts.
Every day I had to go through a busy street on my way to school. One day, when I was biking between the cars on that street, suddenly a question popped into my mind, “If I were accidentally hit by a car and died, how would that be different from a natural death in old age?”
This question occupied my mind. My busy, yet peaceful, life was thus disturbed, as if someone threw a pebble into a quiet lake and caused many ripples.
I started to discuss this question with my classmates and teachers. Some said, one must live for many years and bear children, and then the children will be the continuation of one’s life. Others said, one must live like a shooting star, brilliantly shining across the sky and being remembered by everyone who saw it.
All these answers were good, and yet they couldn’t really answer my question. What if my descendants and those who remembered me died as well? No matter what I do, my life is but a vapor. If what awaits me is to be wiped away and forgotten, then how can I muster the courage to face the rest of my days? I was unable to find any answers to my question, and my heart became emptier and emptier.
At the same time, I started to read a lot of relevant books, hoping to find answers through them. In my search, I began to slowly experience some breakthroughs.
First, I realized that intelligent design is a sound theory, and that macroevolution is statistically flawed. Understanding these theories led me to realize that Christianity is a reasonable religion, and my former doubts about the Bible seemed laughable.
Second, I started to pray in order to receive a direct answer from God. One afternoon in the early spring, I finished school and started to enjoy my personal time as usual. I biked to Shichahai (什刹海) and sat by the water. Looking at the beautiful scenery, the questions which had troubled me suddenly made me weary. I couldn’t help but say to God, “Do you really exist? Did you really create this world that we see? If you really exist, I want to know you.”
At last, I returned to my Christian faith, and once again took up my Christian identity. I was like a diligent missionary and made the best of every opportunity to share with my classmates and teachers the Christian faith. I discussed with them the theories that I learned from books, secretly hoping that they could refute me with a powerful argument, so that I could be awoken from this belief.
However, many of them agreed with what I said. A teacher even told me that if only he were not a teacher, he would believe in Christianity. That feedback impacted me greatly. In the end, nobody could really deny the Christian faith!
What is more amazing is that during this search, my faith began to mature. After many years, as I look back on those days, I saw that God had mercy on me, this lost child of his, and he protected me and guided me in my pursuit of the truth.
“Seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” The Bible is right. God is faithful. He revealed himself to me when I was most helpless and he found me when I was a lost sheep going astray in the wilderness.
And I finally found the answer to my initial question: If I died today, it would be very different than a natural death caused by old age. Because I testified before you, and I glorified God and blessed you through this testimony—this has left an eternal impact in Christ’s kingdom.
This is an excerpt from an English translation of the original Chinese testimony which is available for download. The original Chinese testimony is found on pages 3–9 of《从未名湖到生命泉（二）：百名北大学子的信仰之旅》(Peking University Testimonies 2) available from ReFrame Ministries.
Read the full testimony to learn about the struggles Qiuyu Wu faced as she sought to serve God in the midst of her brokenness.
More about the Author
Qiuyu Wu was born in Beijing. She studied at Peking University from 2007 to 2011, double majoring in biology and psychology. Currently, she lives in Beijing, China. Being a third generation Christian, she was baptized in 2007. She served at Beijing NL Church from 2011 to 2014. She studied at Gordon- Conwell Seminary from 2014 to 2016. Currently she is a preacher at Zion church, and she also serves at Zion Bible Institute.
Her favorite Bible verse is “Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth; unite my heart to fear your name.” (Psalm 86:11)
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