Chinese Church Voices

Single and Married Christians Relating to One Another

Chinese Church Voices is an occasional column of the ChinaSource Blog providing translations of original writing by Christians in China. The views represented are entirely those of the original author; inclusion in Chinese Church Voices does not imply or equal an endorsement by ChinaSource.

The blog Building Healthy Families recently posted a short piece about the importance of single and married Christians of the opposite sex setting boundaries in how they relate to one another.

Singles and Marrieds Relating: What is the Christian Way? 

‪There are certain areas of life where Christians continually struggle to know how to walk, and one of particular concern to many brothers and sisters is that of relating to the opposite sex. The topic of how single sisters should relate to married brothers has been the focus of many heated discussions among believers.

Single sisters relating to married brothers: Do not develop a personal friendship with him apart from his wife—in relating to the couple you must always be closer to the wife than the husband; put yourself in her shoes—think about how closely you would want your future husband to walk with a young lady during your marriage and then hold yourself to a similar standard; set up boundaries—relationships within boundaries are a kind of blessing, but if you go past those boundaries you will only find bitterness; and finally, do not try to seek the love of a father from a married brother. Respect the marriage that God has established and God will bless you!

‪Christians relating with members of the opposite sex must pay attention to boundaries, or else we will give Satan an opportunity to tempt us. Ultimately, though, the most important thing is to protect our own hearts, so that we don’t have to rely on these external “should’s and should not’s”, “can’s and cannot’s” to rule over us. The fruit we bear in this lifetime ultimately comes forth from the soil of our own hearts. Generally when we have crossed a boundary with the opposite sex it is ultimately because of the lack of boundaries within our own hearts. We must cleanse our hearts!

‪I believe the same principles apply in the reverse to Christians brothers.

If you honor and respect the marriage God has established, he will honor and bless you!

Original post: 单身姐妹怎么与已婚弟兄交往 (Building Healthy Families)

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