Chinese Church Voices

A Marriage Testimony

Chinese Church Voices is a weekly column of the ChinaSource Blog providing translations of original writing by Christians in China. The views represented are entirely those of the original author; inclusion in Chinese Church Voices does not imply or equal an endorsement by ChinaSource.

This is from the testimony section of the website for Zion Church in Beijing. It is the story of Gods grace in a difficult marriage.

I got married on September 11, 2001. The whole world knows and remembers this day because of the events that happened in the United States on that day. My marriage was exactly like the events of 9/11.

I'm older than my husband and neither he nor I prepared well for our marriage. We didn't know what marriage was supposed to be and we didn't understand the responsibility that went along with it. Our marriage was like two millstones grinding against each other. I was the top millstone and my husband was the bottom stone. Not only were we not working in unity, but we were crushing each other.

Because my husband is from the countryside and I am from the city, the differences between us were very great. For example, people from his hometown spoke in a dialect I had never heard before. It was only after I asked him about it that I discovered that they were cursing and scolding me. We experienced many awkward moments because of this. At first I thought I couldn't accept the members of his household, but later I realized that they couldn't accept me either.

My husband and I would split the bills for our expenses. Issues regarding money can rip a marriage apart. During the first month after having our child, we got into a fight because of baby expenses. My husband * cornered me and tried to strangle me and said he wanted me to pay half of the expenses, which was 5800 RMB. After I got free, I took his wine glass and smashed it over his head.

My husband and I were in a Dragon Tiger War. According to the Chinese zodiac, I'm a tiger, and he's a dragon. Although I don't believe in this superstition, people around us didn't look favorably on our marriage because of our zodiac signs.

I have an extremely serious mother-in-law. She's the type of countryside mother-in-law who can take down an army by herself. My husband's family relationships are as complicated as the characters of Hamlet.

It was as if I had no parachute, but chose to jump out of the airplane anyway. I felt as if I had crash landed on the ground, but had not yet died. If you were a doctor, you'd know the immense pain of falling to ones death but not dying.When I met the Lord in 2007, it was just in time. If my marriage had become any more painful, it would have died. God, in his mercy and grace, rescued my marriage.

First, I changed my attitude. I originally thought that I had it the worst. God changed my perspective regarding the problems and I discovered that my husband's pain was worse than mine. My original attitude wasn't helping my marriage so I prayed to God that He would change me.

Over time, the family atmosphere began to change for the better. Although my husband doesn't seem to show any exterior signs of change, I believe that God is working in him. I am grateful to God for my husband.

I have felt a great and vigorous hope because God is healing and blessing this marriage.

Marriage has been my desert experience. As I read Exodus, I compare it with my marriage; I can see a way out. In the desert, all we can do is love God and love people.I thank and praise God. I've been married now for 10 years and have been a testimony to God's word that a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

May God bless and lead my family.

Source: Zion Church

Image credit: by Dennis Skley, via Flickr

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