From Beersheba Back to Haran

During my three years pastoring a Chinese church in the United States, we sent more than 20 of our members back to China. When I returned to China, I planted a church, which I have now pastored for four years. The church has received no fewer than one hundred Christian returnees, referred to us by overseas churches. Today the issue of Christian returnees is so important. In this article, I will share my understanding of this issue, based on the life of Jacob in the Bible, and try to offer some suggestions and advice to overseas churches, churches in China, and Christian returnees.

It is said that there are three ultimate philosophical questions in life: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? When we simply rely on the questions, “Where did I come from?” and “Where am I going?” to determine “who I am,” it seems that the question of “Who am I?” cannot be answered adequately. The issues returnees face often center around questions of identity, “who I am.” Yet if returnees try to define their identity purely in terms of their geographic location and horizontal relationships, there will likely be confusion.

The Old Testament tells of a man who, like today’s returnees, left his place of birth and went to another land. His name was Jacob, and his story was recorded in Genesis. Where did Jacob come from? He came from Beersheba, a place where he received many blessings (Genesis 27:27) and a place where he could not stay (Genesis 27:43). In Beersheba, he inherited the Abrahamic covenant passed down through his father Isaac, whom he had cheated to gain his blessing. Also, there was his mother who was no longer able to protect him from his brother who wanted to kill him (Genesis 27:41). Jacob surely had some fond memories of Beersheba, but under the circumstances, he was not able to stay.

Where was Jacob headed as he left Beersheba? To Haran, the place his grandfather Abraham had left years before (Genesis 12:4). It had taken the family over a hundred years to leave Haran, and now Jacob was going back. Jacob still had extended family there, his uncle, Laban, and his family.  Laban was not a kind man; in his eyes, there were only hired hands, not family; there were only business interests, not personal affection. He was a nightmare of a boss for all who worked for him.

If you were to ask Jacob in the opening verses of Genesis 28, “Who are you?”, he would have told you, “I am from Beersheba where I had a good life and received many blessings, but I could not stay there and have return to Haran. I hope to find a way to make a living, start a family, and in turn become a blessing here.” This is pretty much how the returnees whom I sent off from my overseas church and have welcomed to my current church would introduce themselves.

Jacob’s return journey to Haran was not easy. He traveled alone through the wilderness, and as the sun went down, there were no familiar tents and only cold stones to use for a pillow. Jacob “the returnee” was overwhelmed by loneliness.

Jacob was capable and self-reliant. He removed the stone from the well so that Rachel could water her father Laban’s sheep (Genesis 29:10), and when given the chance, he worked very hard for his uncle (Genesis 29:15). Yet Jacob had a rough time. He was deceived by his uncle and labored for seven years, only to then labor for another seven years (Genesis 29:20, 30). He got two wives but was reduced to a pawn in the race between his wives to produce a son and heir. Leah said to him, “You must come in to me, for I have hired you…” (Genesis 30:16).

In spite of all the blessings that Jacob brought to Laban’s household (Genesis 30:27), which his unscrupulous uncle recognized, Jacob was still trapped. It was a reoccurring story for him, stuck over and over again: in the wilderness, in his uncle’s house, in his marriages. This is also the experience of every one of today’s returnees. We know that the Bible is both historical and prophetic. It records the story of sinners and their sin-tainted lives, and it also predicts the trials that every sinner will experience in the present fallen world.

How many Christians with overseas experience, who have been blessed with great grace while abroad, have come back home with a clear mission? How many had to return because they did not win the H1B lottery, which determines work eligibility in the United States? This is like asking Jacob: Did you leave Beersheba because of the Abrahamic covenant and the promise of “being fruitful and increasing in number to fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28), or did you simply listen to your mother and leave for fear of your father’s rebuke and your brother’s revenge?

If a returnee both knows God’s precious promises and returns to his home country for practical reasons, there is little difference between him and Jacob. Both are sinners called by God, and for both the environment is tainted by sin. So, the returnee should not expect to write a different chapter of his life, but to live out the biblical narrative of a sinner’s salvation:

1. Experiencing loneliness. Jacob experienced loneliness in the wilderness when he lost almost all his earthly relationships. He continued to experience loneliness in Laban’s household as he was mistreated and taken advantage of. Returnees will experience such times of loneliness after they return. Isolation in time and space, being removed from the company of old friends is like Jacob’s loneliness in the wilderness; the loneliness returnees experience in big cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen is similar to Jacob’s loneliness in Haran. There are millions of people around you, but few meaningful relationships, and where there are relationships, they are often tainted by mixed motives and efforts to take advantage of one another. 

2. Efforts in self-preservation. Jacob was able to recognize Rachel by his own cleverness (Genesis 29:4-6). He showed his strength by helping his future wife water her sheep (Genesis 29:10). He exchanged his labor for his father-in-law’s favor and grew his family through 14 years of hard work. It seems that Jacob had made his dream come true by his own gifts, efforts, and wisdom, but he still felt that he had nothing to his name. This is often the experience of returnees as well. Their experience of studying and living overseas enables them to increase their abilities and insights in their fields; these abilities in turn will enable them to excel in the workplace. The insights returnee Christians have into the Bible and the church will enable them to become objects of their pastor’s affection and garner favor from the congregation; returnee Christians may also become competitive in the dating scene.

However, if all of this becomes for the returnee a kind of guarantee for a successful life, then one day we will likely hear this complaint: “In my company as well as in my church, I am just a tool. Everyone only cares about my contribution. No one cares about me! I miss my church and college fellowship group in the US.” When Jacob relied on his gifts alone, God sent Laban to act as the consumer of his gifts. I’m not excusing bosses who consume their employees or churches who consume their congregations, but I believe this is the way God works: allowing the dreams of those who are relying on themselves to come true, only to help them realize they are stuck in a vicious cycle of trying to save themselves.

3. Utter despair. Jacob’s wives tried to gain their husband’s favor by having more babies, but they were trapped in a dead-end race for pregnancy. Returnees, likewise, try to compete hard in the workplace. In the church they ask, “What more can I do?” But the search for fulfillment in horizontal relationships is bound to lead to constant disappointment.  As returnees seek favor from their bosses, they find that the economy is failing; as they seek appreciation from their pastors, they find there are actually quite a lot of theological resources in the big cities, so their help is not so needed; as they seek recognition from the congregation, the next batch of returnees comes, stealing attention from them; as they seek approval from their families, they find their families only care about their contribution to their parents and relatives.

So where is the way out?

What did Jacob encounter on his way to Haran? Not a tower of Babel built from the earth reaching toward heaven, but a ladder descending from heaven. The Lord did not make him climb the ladder, but revealed to him angels ascending and descending, connecting heaven and earth. Jacob was still on the road between his home and a distant place, but because of his vision of the heavenly ladder, that desolate place became the temple of God, the gate of heaven (Genesis 28:17). His circumstances did not change, nor did his broken earthly relationships, but Jacob went from being a fugitive in the wilderness to a worshipper on the road to heaven.

It is similar with Leah, who, after giving birth to Reuben, Simeon, and Levi, gave up her obsession with earthly relationships because of Judah—at that moment, she began to praise the Lord (Genesis 29:35). It is also like Rachel, who, after a long battle with her sister, named her son “Joseph” (Genesis 30:24), putting her hope in the future rather than the present (Genesis 30:24).

Jacob’s family’s sense of identity could not be worked out through earthly relationships, but they were able to build their identity on the worship of Yahweh and the hope of a future Son. The way out was finally fulfilled in the person of Jesus Christ: he became incarnate as the true ladder from heaven (John 1:51). He was born of the tribe of Judah, a descendant of David, to show what true worship is (John 4:23). And he is the one who is the true Son.

Jesus Christ is the true hope of Christian returnees who have experienced loneliness, who have struggled to save themselves, and who have faced disappointments and despair.

As a “returnee pastor” and a pastor of returnees, I would like to offer the following suggestions and advice to overseas churches, churches in China, and returnee Christians.

To overseas churches: Please encourage brothers and sisters who have left you to worship God in person with other believers in the local church, not virtually. Remember that one-on-one friendships alone and Bible studies on the internet do not equate with worship as described in the Bible, and neither is it a substitute for worship in a local church. Don’t replace vertical, upward-directed praise and worship with horizontal fellowship relationships.

To churches in China: Please do not see returnees as a commodity to be consumed or leveraged. They are first of all sinners in need of grace, and only after that, returnees by grace. Christian returnees need the body of Christ (the church) to shepherd them more than the church needs returnees to serve her. Allow the returnees in your church to take time before they begin to serve. And when you come across a particularly “useful” Christian returnee, consider your mentality as a leader and be a faithful and good shepherd as you steward the resources they bring.

To Christian returnees: When you call yourself a “Christian returnee,” you may inadvertently feel tempted to add a little bit of your own experience and effort to your Christian identity. Hold your “returnee” status more lightly, which will help you to become a more devoted follower of Christ.

Finally, whether you are a pastor, a brother or sister in the local church, or a returnee, you must, to some degree, have experienced the pain of “returning to the land.” Even though Jacob experienced a tangled and complicated life, the author of Hebrews commented on him, saying: “By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head of his staff” (Hebrews 11:21). God did not define Jacob according to his guile, nor did he write an epitaph that pointed to his trials or accomplishments. Jacob’s life is memorialized by the author of Hebrews for his hope in the future and his worship of God.

It is difficult for sinners to live in a fallen world. It is even more so for Christian returnees, sinners who are intelligent, capable, knowledgeable, and familiar with the Bible, who arrive in cities like Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Shenzhen, where their opportunity to sin is magnified. Yet our hope does not rely on worldly things—it does not matter whether my work in Shanghai is smooth, or whether my service in my church in Beijing is revitalized, or whether my marriage in Shenzhen is happy, or whether my children in Guangzhou excel in school. What matters most is our assurance in the promise of the heavenly ladder and our future worship in the new heaven and new earth. Our identity is not defined by where we come from or where we go, but only by whether we worship the true God of heaven.

This article was originally written in Chinese and was translated by the editorial team.