Jolene Kinser
Having spent much of the time between 1997 and 2020 committed to working overseas in China, Jolene Kinser now lives in southern California. Jolene works as a global Chinese peacemaking ministry developer and educator and as a peacemaking specialist under the South Pacific District of the Christian and Missionary Alliance.
Jolene is passionate about helping people resolve conflict, restore peace, and experience reconciliation both with God and others. Using biblically based principles, Jolene specializes in working with people who are Chinese or who live and work in a Chinese or multi-cultural context. Jolene’s education background includes a BA in Linguistics and Religious Studies from UC Davis (1997), an MA in Intercultural Studies from Fuller Seminary (2002), and a PhD in Intercultural Education from Biola University (2020). For more information, check out Jolene’s website: https://jolenekinser.com.
Bearing With: Recognizing and Accepting Differences
We are all members of the body of Christ. And while there are appropriate times to leave a particular ministry or church to find another, when the reason for leaving is related to conflict triggered by differences, please pause, and first consider taking biblical peacemaking steps.
Love In Action
Thankfully, God loves us with actions and in truth whether we are at odds with him or not. Investing in a relationship with someone we are at odds with, assuming it is not an abusive relationship, can reflect that same type of love and have significant impact.
Gospel Power at Work in the Heart
Gaining a true view of ourselves from God is humbling and freeing and can spur us on to apologize for our contributions to conflict.
The Benefits of Giving Face
Wu Chunhua described it in this way: “If you give a person face, that person will slowly relax and won’t be as confrontational and resistant in the relationship. The conflict will ease up. It won’t continue to get bigger.”
When a Gift Is Not Enough
When it comes to receiving an apology, we often want to hear a verbal apology. Yet, how often do we personally avoid giving a verbal apology when we have messed up?
Barriers to Apologizing, Part 2
Li Qiang said, “Chinese culture has moralized everything. Someone who makes a mistake is seen as flawed, deficient, and having shortcomings. A person who has not made mistakes is morally higher.”
Barriers to Apologizing, Part 1
Should Li Qiang behave according to the general expectations of the superior person and not apologize? Or should he obey the Bible, confess his sin, apologize, and face whatever possible negative repercussions there may be, if or when they come?
An Elephant in the Room: Face
In our conflict resolution conversations, conflict coaching, and mediation help, face is sometimes the elephant in the room—if never acknowledged and addressed, reconciliation is hindered. Let’s address the elephant in the room and develop a new God-centered orientation to face.
Opening the Door to Reconciliation
Those I interviewed in China… expressed repeatedly that holding tight to these unexamined views of themselves and their positions was a big hindrance in reconciling relationships. Yet, as their mindsets shifted, a door to potential reconciliation opened.
Heart vs Surface-level Reconciliation
Pursuing heart-level reconciliation can be hard, humbling work. A labor of love. Yet when our love is infused with God’s love—our source of strength to reconcile—we can persevere in the process.